It has been 1 year, or 1 year 1 month and 18 days to be exact. And I still haevn't found my Elixir.
this last year I was just lazing off , No I mean literally lazing off, all I did was wander around in the city , which by the way is beautiful , I love this city. Went on mechanically to my job which has nothing much to offer not in terms of challenge for the least. The greatest challenge I ever felt in my job till date was how to score maximum frags in a game of Unreal tournament, which we played almost everyday since last 6 months. I was a bad player, but without modesty I would like to add that I am one of the better ones now. We followed this UT session religiously everyday for last six months. the whole scheduled broke up once the new Headdtart came, I wonder now if previous batch also used to play the same way. Anyways those days are over.
Apart from these challangeing tasks of lazing off, wandering in city , meeting , greeting & chatting (most of the time over internet) old & new friends once in a while and playing UT and yeah watching a movie every night , thanks to torretns and broadband. I am pretty much aimless, lost, confused , tired , no not tired actually. I am like the protagonist of Alchemist looking out for ELIXIR of Life , its just that he was atleast trying to find it , I am just thinking about finding it out. And that part consumes most of the time of day I guess.
At the end of a day when I look back to see if I can find out anything I did that day which I would like to remember for my life well so sad it sounds to my own ears but have to say it that since last 1 year 2 months and 18 days to be exact there are rarelly any moments or events or life changing moments which I will cherrish for my life . I may sound a little weary but thats the sad truth of that time.
Unlike before that for which I would like to remember every second of my life ,Alas! that is not possible, damn! weak human memory...........
Although I must admit I haevn't did much then either , but guess there was a difference in approach then , then also I used to wander around in city (which was way less crowdier then) , meeting , greeting and chatting consumed most of my time and I used to play games, and stayed away from studies like I stay away from work here.
Then what made the difference ??
Why do I feel like this now and why I felt so different before? Have I lost something or Is there something I didn't get I wanted to achieve. Is it just jealousy from my peers when I see their achievements? It can also be the distance from the family, I know going back home is a far dream which I have stopped even dreaming about. Or is it the quest for knowledge as I am learning NOTHING !! nothing as all...........
too many questions too many answers required or is it just 1 answer which will solve all the question , one universal answer to solve all the questions. 1 Master Key. Damn it! I do feel like protagonist of Alchemist.
hell even If I am I wonder when I will start the journey to find the solutions , will I ever even start or just keep thinking about it leave aside the possibility of finding answers to these questions.....
guess all can be summarized in just 3 small words .
I am CONFUSED!!
1 comment:
or may be only 3 letters!!
Post a Comment