1. There is no such thing as a free lunch.
Observation: Unless you have a coupon for a free lunch.
2. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Observation: Especially if you throw it at him.
3. Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.
Observation: Those are called eggs. Can I count my eggs?
4. Better late than never.
Observation: Doesn’t work too well if your parachute opens really late.
5. It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
Observation: But it’s also the heat.
6. You can’t judge a book by its cover.
Observation: Unless you are trying to judge the cover.
7. She is burning her candle at both ends.
Observation: Maybe she wants more light.
8. Nice guys finish last.
Observation: Bad guys don’t care if she finishes at all.
9. Go the extra mile.
Observation: Unless you are already there, of course.
10. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
Observation: You won’t have to. It’ll drink when it’s thirsty.
source: http://blog.sarcasmsociety.com/life/10-observations-about-cliches.html
Top 10 Sarcastic Quotes of All Time
Top 10 Sarcastic Quotes of All Time
10. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” –Ashleigh Brilliant
9. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” –Stephen Bishop
8. “I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t.” –Jules Renard
7. “I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.” –John Cleese
6. “Personal experience makes a believer out of anyone; that explains the hordes of evolution deniers.” –Sarcasm Society
5. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” –Mark Twain
4. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde
3. “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” –Mark Twain
2. “A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.” –Groucho Marx
1. “If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?” –Charles Pierce
Source: http://blog.sarcasmsociety.com/quotes-blurbs/top-10-sarcastic-quotes-of-all-time.html
10. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” –Ashleigh Brilliant
9. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” –Stephen Bishop
8. “I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t.” –Jules Renard
7. “I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.” –John Cleese
6. “Personal experience makes a believer out of anyone; that explains the hordes of evolution deniers.” –Sarcasm Society
5. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” –Mark Twain
4. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde
3. “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” –Mark Twain
2. “A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.” –Groucho Marx
1. “If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?” –Charles Pierce
Source: http://blog.sarcasmsociety.com/quotes-blurbs/top-10-sarcastic-quotes-of-all-time.html
A few important questions of the century!
There are several questions in this universe, which are left unanswered, the reasearch team here, after due dilligent, deep research which involved numerous hours and brainstorming of several top notches of this world, has come up with answers of a few of them... Here is the snippet for the first few questions which we have been able to answer.
Pappu pass kaise hua?
Ishq k school me naya mahaul taiyaar ho gaya, pappu ki girl friend se puri class ko pyaar ho gaya, Bas tabhi se papuu udaas ho gaya, puri class fail aur pappu pass ho gaya.
Pehle murgi aayi ya andaa?
Reasearch continues, but speculation says that dono se pehle #### aaya tha.
Chatur kaun sa churan khaata tha?
Uttamamm dadadaaat chuuran especially made from herbs selected from the interiors of the bushes found in middle of Africa...
to be contd..
A small step today or 1000 deperate steps tomorrow? Choice is ours!
How much water do we waste everyday? How much fuel do we burn everyday? How many people per car are present on roads of Delhi? Are we Carbon Neutral ? and many more such questions. Answers for such questions will be negative for most of us. A person uses 135 liters of water and 5 KOE (killogram Oil Equivalent) on average per day in India. Average number of passengers (including driver) in a car in delhi is 1.2 and the final questions 'Are we Carbon Neutral' - No!
But these seems to be issues which need to be discussed by state government and MCD, why are we discussing it here? And the reason as everyone knows is as simple and as complex as always. 'Lack of Committment' Each of the problems mentioned above and many similar problems can be catered by us. Why to wait for goevernment to put charges of emission, or on drinking water or put up a luxury charge on vehicles, when small steps by us can bring these factors in controllable limits.
With advances in technology and science, leading to numerous inventions and discoveries, we are living a far more comfortable and luxurious life, like never before. But while inventing these comforts, we forgot about the discomforts to the environment, combine this with a boom in population & globalization. And we have created a time bomb which is ticking right now and will blow up in near future, if not in your lifetime then in lifetime of next generation.
But, I believe with so many news mediums today every one knows about all of this, everyone of us understands the criticallity of situation, and most of us wants to bring about change, save environment but no one wants to take the plunge, or leave the comforts or worse no one knows what to be done to stop this time bomb. And this is the harsh truth, we at our level lives a quite life as a moral member of the society, we work from 9 AM to 6 PM, we come back to our families, during weekends we go to nearby places, some of us get involved in social causes/ community services, others stays infront of their televisions. Point of the matter is we may not think of doing any thing out of the league, we may not be able to stop the time bomb. But we can still try.
We can try not to waste water, we can try to avoid unnecessary fuel consumption, we can use a pooled car instead of coming alone to office, we can plant trees and keep them safe till they grow up, We can try to promote eco-friendly products, we can discourage buying products from companies which do not care for environment. We can try and take these small steps together. And I am sure when we do that we will see the difference. As Mahatma Gandhi has said
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
But these seems to be issues which need to be discussed by state government and MCD, why are we discussing it here? And the reason as everyone knows is as simple and as complex as always. 'Lack of Committment' Each of the problems mentioned above and many similar problems can be catered by us. Why to wait for goevernment to put charges of emission, or on drinking water or put up a luxury charge on vehicles, when small steps by us can bring these factors in controllable limits.
With advances in technology and science, leading to numerous inventions and discoveries, we are living a far more comfortable and luxurious life, like never before. But while inventing these comforts, we forgot about the discomforts to the environment, combine this with a boom in population & globalization. And we have created a time bomb which is ticking right now and will blow up in near future, if not in your lifetime then in lifetime of next generation.
But, I believe with so many news mediums today every one knows about all of this, everyone of us understands the criticallity of situation, and most of us wants to bring about change, save environment but no one wants to take the plunge, or leave the comforts or worse no one knows what to be done to stop this time bomb. And this is the harsh truth, we at our level lives a quite life as a moral member of the society, we work from 9 AM to 6 PM, we come back to our families, during weekends we go to nearby places, some of us get involved in social causes/ community services, others stays infront of their televisions. Point of the matter is we may not think of doing any thing out of the league, we may not be able to stop the time bomb. But we can still try.
We can try not to waste water, we can try to avoid unnecessary fuel consumption, we can use a pooled car instead of coming alone to office, we can plant trees and keep them safe till they grow up, We can try to promote eco-friendly products, we can discourage buying products from companies which do not care for environment. We can try and take these small steps together. And I am sure when we do that we will see the difference. As Mahatma Gandhi has said
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
What can Company do to increase your satisfaction as an employee?
My answer to this question? (I am really vella)
1. Give Credit to the actual developers/ workers who are delivering in a project and not just to those who are bringing the project.
2. Normalization applied is not the correct way everytime, It is not necessary that if a unit has 10 skilled workers who deserve A there will be as many deserving B or C for that matters, the work for most of the projects is not very tough and in that case if some one getting an extra effort gets A, rest should get B+, and there are several such examples.
3. Compensation provided by the company at the end of year is not justifiable at all moreover it doesnot even meet the industry standards (pardon my ignorance, my knowledge is limited to the information I gathered from the market).
4) The company fared equally for a person who stayed with the company during bad times (last year when there was no appreciation or less bonuses) and those who joined afterwards, all of them got the same appreciations. If some one stayed with you during desperate times, it is not because of lack of options but because of loyality, and company shouting all the time about high EBIDTA and good performance but no appreciation or recoginition for such people was a big blow.
5) Most of the processes deployed by quality team requires senseless document creation and many processes deployed acorss various projects are not in sync with each other, more over quality team expects a process improvement by each project every quarter. Due to which processes keeps changing frequently. And resources spends almost 30 % of time managing documents (at times filling manipulated data) and mentally exhausted which not only hampers quality development time and also leaves no time for resources to learn something new.
6) Many policies applied by senior mangaement lies on papers, for instance IDR which asks for a resource development but other than having him fill big forms once every year, no action was taken by company to help resource acheive those scales of development.
7) There is no central server provide which can be accessed by all the members in company for the practice, simulation, etc activities, which will keep bench resources busy and also give them an opportunity to develop their skills.
8) The openess which we talk about so much is only on papers, because there is always a wide gap between the things promised and the things actually delivered by the company.
9) At the end I can say that there is a big difference between the Company I joined in 2007 and the Company of 2010, And not towards the positive side, the openness which was supposed to be one of the pillars of company's success is only on papers but not applied any where.
10) And to talk about leadership, I really appreciate the leadership at the senior level, but the middle management which I met and worked with during recent times is not up to the mark. worst they do not deliver what they promise, nor there is a long term vision in the approach but mostly the short term vision. Which create no sense of security in minds of people but only those who are required to fulfill the short term goals of the management are taken care off.
I heard that, before better before the merger, when the company was named $$$$$ and the employee satisfaction was the best, and better than any service company (leaving aside a few names) but it was a brand well recognized and reason for most of the people to join the company was good ESAT but it is not true in present scenario. May be if we cater to needs of the employees and improve over approach to select and filter good resources (necessary to fulfill long term goal) company will flourish better than ever. All the best.
1. Give Credit to the actual developers/ workers who are delivering in a project and not just to those who are bringing the project.
2. Normalization applied is not the correct way everytime, It is not necessary that if a unit has 10 skilled workers who deserve A there will be as many deserving B or C for that matters, the work for most of the projects is not very tough and in that case if some one getting an extra effort gets A, rest should get B+, and there are several such examples.
3. Compensation provided by the company at the end of year is not justifiable at all moreover it doesnot even meet the industry standards (pardon my ignorance, my knowledge is limited to the information I gathered from the market).
4) The company fared equally for a person who stayed with the company during bad times (last year when there was no appreciation or less bonuses) and those who joined afterwards, all of them got the same appreciations. If some one stayed with you during desperate times, it is not because of lack of options but because of loyality, and company shouting all the time about high EBIDTA and good performance but no appreciation or recoginition for such people was a big blow.
5) Most of the processes deployed by quality team requires senseless document creation and many processes deployed acorss various projects are not in sync with each other, more over quality team expects a process improvement by each project every quarter. Due to which processes keeps changing frequently. And resources spends almost 30 % of time managing documents (at times filling manipulated data) and mentally exhausted which not only hampers quality development time and also leaves no time for resources to learn something new.
6) Many policies applied by senior mangaement lies on papers, for instance IDR which asks for a resource development but other than having him fill big forms once every year, no action was taken by company to help resource acheive those scales of development.
7) There is no central server provide which can be accessed by all the members in company for the practice, simulation, etc activities, which will keep bench resources busy and also give them an opportunity to develop their skills.
8) The openess which we talk about so much is only on papers, because there is always a wide gap between the things promised and the things actually delivered by the company.
9) At the end I can say that there is a big difference between the Company I joined in 2007 and the Company of 2010, And not towards the positive side, the openness which was supposed to be one of the pillars of company's success is only on papers but not applied any where.
10) And to talk about leadership, I really appreciate the leadership at the senior level, but the middle management which I met and worked with during recent times is not up to the mark. worst they do not deliver what they promise, nor there is a long term vision in the approach but mostly the short term vision. Which create no sense of security in minds of people but only those who are required to fulfill the short term goals of the management are taken care off.
I heard that, before better before the merger, when the company was named $$$$$ and the employee satisfaction was the best, and better than any service company (leaving aside a few names) but it was a brand well recognized and reason for most of the people to join the company was good ESAT but it is not true in present scenario. May be if we cater to needs of the employees and improve over approach to select and filter good resources (necessary to fulfill long term goal) company will flourish better than ever. All the best.
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